I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i love accidental penises.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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