lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
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I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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