Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
