Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize