At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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