is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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