Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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