he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
