Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
