She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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