i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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