the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
