they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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