Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
