he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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