Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize