I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
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doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
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He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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