I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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