I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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