I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
