Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
