Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
