He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
