I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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