I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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