Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
