I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
