Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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