I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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