i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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