After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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