i think my mom watched the whole time
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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