ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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