Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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