Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
