I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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