I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
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He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
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He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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