That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
