It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
