the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
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Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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