Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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