Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
