she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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