omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
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Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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