Me. At least after what I've been through.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
