guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
