Where is the hickey?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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