she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
