I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
