I think I am morally bankrupt
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize