I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My feet surprised me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
