I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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