They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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