A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
