so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
