I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
where am i from again
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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