My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize