I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
